Excerpts from Strange Stories Vol 1

Ahead of the book launch, let these excerpts from Strange Stories Vol 1 weird you out! 

Novelette-Heaven on Earth by Joseph Schwartz​
     "As he drove home, his cell phone vibrated in his hand. He refused to read the text out of spite, still riding the high of self-righteousness from his recent decision. He planned to call a real estate agent in the morning. Karen could bitch, and she would, but it wouldn’t matter. In the end, Daniel would get what he wanted. As long as the bills were paid, the kids were fed, and Karen didn’t have to take it up the ass, a new house with ten acres and a couple of four-by-fours to go mudding with the kids seemed like no big deal.
    Karen was still asleep on the couch, with the TV on and relentlessly selling foot insoles guaranteed to change your life.
     He quickly looked in on each of the boys, pleased to see them asleep. The master bedroom was quiet as he undressed. Setting his phone on his nightstand, he tossed his dirty clothes in the basket.
     Lying in his briefs, the bed all to himself, Daniel picked up his phone. In the preview, there was a smiley face from an unknown number; he presumed the message was from Delilah.
      He touched his pointer finger against the glass.
      Delilah had sent him a picture, a selfie of her red nail-polished fingertips spreading apart her labia."
Flash-Death of a Controversial Word Wizard by James Lee
     “‘He was only 158 and in apparently robust health,’” noted Steve Widdershins, Coroner-Adept for the West-Central Shires of Penn’s Woods. ‘And we must consider the ominous timing: Samhain is of course a holiday traditionally marked by death, taking inventory of one’s life and ridding oneself of what is no longer desired. Finally, I would remind everyone that there are very many differing Schools of Sorcery extant, many of which feature Magicks of such obscure and arcane subtlety that only a true Specialist-Adept in that particular School would be able to recognize and identify them. Me, I’m just a humble civil servant—capable, I dare say, but hardly such a Specialist." 
Short Story-The Disagreeable Dinner by Mark Daponte
​     “Honey!Your butt just vibrated when that guy talked! Unless...were you using huh, my vibrator in the privacy of our home and you had an, uh,a sexual misadventure?”
     “Of course not!!Just w-w-ho are you in me?” a frightened Will asked.
     “A ghost on crack. Perdone. I should say a ghost in your crack.”
     “What are you doing inside my husband?” Susan asked.
     “My name ess Juan Jimenez. In my mortal life, I cooked for Consuelo.”
     “Is that the same Consuelo who owns ‘Consuelo’s Restaurante?’” Will asked.
     “Where we had that Mexican food two days ago!” Susan added.
     “Si. Two years ago, I was Consuelo’s secret lover. Well, I was secret until Consuelo’s husband caught us canoodling and ‘cocaine-ing’ in his kitchen. Consuelo’s Gringo husband suffocated my pretty face in a pot of refried beans at 12AM--midnight. On the anniversary of my murder, my soul rises from the bottom of a pot of refried beans and settles in—a Gringo!”